Dear readers, I wanna brighten and light up your day and night with some hilarious jokes that I have recorded through my brain! I am now inserting my brain with a AKA (Advance King Adapter) and connecting it into my blog, let me tell you a tale of jokes! Here we go! :D :D :D
King's Joke #1
Teacher: "King, how do you spell puma?"
King: "P-O-O-M-A!"
Teacher: "Wrong, the dictionary spells P-U-M-A."
King: "But you didn't ask me how the dictionary spells it, you ask me how I spell it!"
King's Joke #2
Sunday School Teacher: "King, I asked everyone who wants to go to heaven to put up their hands, why haven't you?"
King: "Cause mum said I have to go straight home..."
King's Joke #3
Baby Snake: "Are we poisonous, mummy?"
Mummy Snake: "Yes dear, why do you ask?"
Baby Snake: "Because I've just bitten my tongue."
King's Joke #4
Dolphins are so clever that they can teach men to stand on the side of the pool and throw fish for them! :D
King's Joke #5
Karate Expert: "What hurts more than a karate chop in the chest?"
Smart Brainer: "One of my sister's pork chop in the stomach!"
King's Joke #6
Man: "What would you do if a man-eating tiger chased you?"
Woman: "Nothing! I'm a woman!"
King's Joke #7
Policeman: "I'll have to report you. You were driving at 90 kilometres an hour."
Driver: "Nonsense! I've only been driving for 10 minutes!"
King's Joke #8
Teacher: "What did the Hamlet call his son?"
Student: "Piglet!"
King's Joke #9
Teacher: "If we breathe oxygen in the daytime, what do we breathe at night?"
Student: "Nitrogen!"
King's Joke #10
Teacher: "King, why are you late for school every morning?"
King: "Because everytime I come to the corner, I see the sign says (School in front-Go slow)."
King's Joke #11
Did you hear about the baby mouse who saw a bat?
He ran home and told his mother he'd seen an angel! :D
King's Joke #12
Daughter: "Boooo Hoooo! King broke my doll..."
Mummy: "That's terrible. How did he do that?"
Daughter: "It smashed when I hit him on the head with it."
King's Joke #13
Have you heard the joke about the butter?
I'd better not tell you, you might spread it around... :D
King's Joke #14
Policeman: "Hey you! Can't you read that sign? No fishing in this river!"
That fellow: "I'm not fishing! I am just teaching my worm how to swim!"
King's Joke #15
Student: "Dear professor, why do you have a sausage stuck behind your ear?"
Professor: "What!? Oh dear, I must have eaten my pencil for lunch..."
King's Joke #16
King gave a phone call to his teacher,
King: "King has a high fever, he can't go to school today."
Teacher: "Oh! Who's speaking?"
King: "My father!"
King's Joke #17
Bubbles: "What's wrong with this fish?"
King: "Long time, no sea..."
King's Joke #18
Daughter: "There's a fly in my alphabet soup!"
Mummy: "I expect it's learning to read."
King's Joke #19
Bubbles: "Why do Christians sing Hymns and not Hers?"
King: "Because they all finish with Amen and not Awoman."
King's Joke #20
Teacher: "What trees do finger and thumbs grow on?"
Student: "Palm trees!"
King's Joke #21
Mummy Lion: "Baby, what are you doing?"
Baby Lion: "I'm chasing a hunter around the tree!"
Mummy Lion: "How many times have I told you not to play with your food!"
King's Joke #22
Bubbles: "Can people tell the future through cards?"
King: "Yes, my mother looks at my report card and tells me what is goind to happen when daddy gets home..."
King's Joke #23
It is said that children brighten a home!
They never turn the lights off... :D
King's Joke #24
Bubbles: "King, why do you wear spectacles when you sleep?"
King: "So that I can see clearly in my dreams!"
King's Joke #25
Teacher: "King, name two pronouns?"
King: "Who? Me?"
Teacher: "Excellent! You are listening to the class!"
King's Joke #26
Bubbles: "My aunt Lily loves to swim."
King: "Maybe she is a water Lily!"
King's Joke #27
King: "I think it is true when they say television causes violence."
Bubbles: "What makes you think that?"
King: "Because everytime I switch it on, my daddy hits me..."
King's Joke #28
Mummy: "What are you doing, dear?"
Daughter: "I'm writing a letter to my friend!"
Mummy: "But you don't know how to write!"
Daughter: "That's alright! My friend doesn't know how to read!"
King's Joke #29
How do police join themselves together?
Handcuff themselves together! :D
King's Joke #30
Son: "Pa, can I have 10 dollars to buy a skateboard?"
Pa: "No! Look son, you should try to use your brains to raise the 10 dollars yourself!"
After 5 minutes...
Son: "Well, I raised the 10 dollars!"
Pa: "How?"
Son: "I asked Ma for it."
King's Joke #31
King: "Did your father promise you something if you took out the garbage?"
Bubbles: "Nope! But he did promise me something if I didn't."
King's Joke #32
Bubbles: "I have to get a calendar!"
King: "Why?"
Bubbles: "Because yesterday I got so sick so I wouldn't have to go to school, and then I found out it was Sunday..."
King's Joke #33
Bubbles: "Wow! I'd love to swim in the lagoon! Are you sure there are no crocodiles in there?"
King: "Yes I'm sure! The sharks scared them all away!"
King's Joke #34
Patient: "Doctor, doctor! I can't stop telling lies!"
Doctor: "I don't believe you."
King's Joke #35
What do punks learn in school?
Punctuation! :D
And my all-time favorite king-made joke!
How do chicken attack?
Chicken.... CHOP!!! :D
I hope these are enough to make you smile and laugh! :D
As the days ahead of you approaches, as the day turns to night, and as the world become insane, may you not forget our dear LORD JESUS CHRIST! He lives in everyone of us, you just gotta talk to Him! =) If you have a moment or two, make a prayer declaration with me to Him! Say this out loud, let the heavens and angels hear my brothers and sisters in Christ!
Prayer Declaration: "Dear Father in heaven! Thank you for every single thing in my life! Be it good or bad, I know you are always on my side and will always be! As I dwell in your presence and seek your kingdom of righteousnes, may you equip me and guide me to be salt and light to the world! Forgive me for all my sins, though many times I failed and fall down, You were always there to pick me up and will always be there for me! How thankful am I to You my Greatest Friend in history! Your glory shines throughout the heavens and earth, and you are the undisputed champion of the universe! You created life, and though we humans have sinned, you sent your one and only son Jesus Christ do die for a sinner like me and have restored my salvation! I wanna always abide in you, may you build me into a great and might man/woman of God! I wanna testify the Name of the Living God to the people around me before it's too late! May you grant me wisdom and knowledge, and help me to make the right choices in my life! May you grant me greater understanding beyond what this world can understands and comprehend, but what your kingdom can! I pray may you teach me and mould me into your Will! Life may have plenty of bustles and hassles, but I know you always make things right for me, and will never give me too much that I can't handle! I once again re-commit my life to you dear Mighty Father! May you keep me safe from all harms, dangers and evil ones, as well as al sicknesses, illness and diseases! I love you Lord! In Jesus name we pray, AMEN!"
Have a great and blessed day as you look forward to a new day! Farewell and may God bless you! =)
(Remember to take one step at a time, one day at a time!)
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